The Secret of Your Life Script
By Ken Renshaw
For most people, much the same thing happens everyday: same job, same people in your life, same problems, same activities.
Much is an invisible life pattern, hidden secret life scripts. They are there, and you may not know much about it.
What are the secret life scripts? Where did they come from? How can you change them?
This book shows you how to unlock the hidden secrets of your life scripts. Become the life script author and editor: change your life.
The author has added humor and the book is easy reading. Anyone who even lightly reads this book will undoubtedly identify attitudes, beliefs, and behaviors they want to change. Those who do the exercises will find personal change in their lives.
Sample From Introduction To Book
Do you ever feel that you are turning into your parents? How far from the tree did "your apple fall?"
For most people, pretty much the same thing happens everyday: same job, same people in your life, same problems, same activities.
For some it is never finding parking spots, having to spend an enormous amount of energy to see people, having things work out marginally only after enormous effort, being disappointed by the actions of people in your life, never getting any “breaks.” It is an invisible life pattern, a secret life script.
You can change the form of your life. You can change what happens every day and over the course of your life. You can become the author and editor of your life script. It is as though your life is a movie, and you are the writer, director and casting director. This book will show you how to alter the story of your life. It will show you how to unlock the hidden secret of your life script.
This book is not a therapy in the conventional sense. Therapies have trained or credentialed practitioners who act to help solve emotional problems or teach you methods to solve emotional problems. They hope to help you understand your feelings. They hope to move you from apathy, anger or fear to a state of happiness.
Therapies are inward journeys. You search inside for the sources of your feelings. You try to find the incidents in your childhood or other times of your life that created feelings that are the source of the way you feel in similar scenarios. You resolve internal emotional conflicts.
I have seen people go through various forms of therapy and become happy and then intermittently serene. However, the general form of their lives didn’t change much. They still lived in the same house, drove the same car, worked at the same place, had the same job, had the same old friends and had many of the same general problems in life: the same life script.
Some of them were happy, but their lives were filled with an endless struggle. They had long commutes to jobs in which they received little personal satisfaction. Minor and major things often went wrong in their lives. Successes were hollow, not commensurate with the struggle to achieve them. Their lives were better in many ways. They didn’t spend much time being angry or sad.
They weren’t always running other people down. They were more fun to be with. Their emotional lives had changed, but they were essentially the same people. They were still traveling the same rut on their lives’ path.
They still had not unlocked the secret of their life script.
By the consensus definition, success doesn’t have much to do with emotional well-being. I have known of very rich and successful people who were very angry. I knew angry Hollywood attorneys who won million-dollar cases and spent the money on cocaine to kill the pain. I saw successful movies produced by angry directors. I knew serene people who filed for bankruptcy. I knew conservatively happy people who labored hard with little success.
Therapy has to do with emotional well-being. It doesn’t have much to do with the success dimension of life. A person’s degree of success could be thought of as another matter entirely.
In the movie metaphor, the emotional well-being of a character is not the story. The script is the story. In the above example, the “angry lawyer” is the character. Getting rich from fees from multimillion-dollar personal injury cases is the story. If the personal injury lawyer’s therapy had worked, he might have been happier, but he would be a personal injury lawyer. If he quit being an (angry) lawyer, which would be rewriting his story, he might become an angry real-estate investor. The character would be the same. Some Hollywood actors such as Clint Eastwood were pretty much the same character in a wide variety of movie stories.
In real life, all characters have stories that portray a consistent life. The same lessons appear over and over until we get the understanding of the scripts that produce them.
Things simply happen as if by chance for most people. However, there seems to be a consistency about what appears. That consistency is a mystery. Why are things always the same? It is in the script.
I was at a fund raising party and met a person with a special ability to have the same thing happen over and over.. A large gift basket filled with spices, teas, exotic condiments, and wine was being raffled. A lady somewhat apologetically said she didn’t want to buy a raffle ticket because she always won the prizes in raffles and someone else should have a chance. The person selling tickets insisted she buy one. Sure enough, the lady won the gift basket. She didn’t consciously will it: It simply happened.
I later talked to the lady and found she thought her life consistency was limited to winning prizes. She had a job she was very tired of and wished she could make a career change. She had been a Beverly Hills trophy wife and had allowed her husband to discourage her from have a meaningful life of her own.
She had gone through a messy divorce two years before and had been awarded the house her former husband had chosen and decorated in a style that was his, not hers. She hated it and hated his car that she was still driving. The only men who were interested in her seemed to be looking for a trophy wife to put in another Beverly Hills mansion.
For her, like most people, the script was a package. The package had good things and bad things that kept appearing over and over.
The life stories of people I know are quite consistent in what they create. In the business world, we call it their “track record.” A person with a good track record at sales, for instance, could be depended upon to produce the same sales results over and over. Other people might talk a good game, but, when it came to producing results always ran into insurmountable barriers.
Some people had amazing track records at producing disasters. They seemed to be under a mysterious behavior guide that made everything turn out that way, their secret life script.